…A whole new kind of therapy. 

Not only is it an absolutely blessed month because yours truly was born on the 25th day, but we also give tribute to the lives our brave Canadian soldiers on Remembrance Day, November 11th . Also, the first trickle of snow falls down usually near the end of the month and waking up on that morning and going outside to see my entire world turned angelic – it’s a feeling I can never get tired of (until of course, the middle of the day when I remember the price to pay for the serenity is absolutely frozen fingers!)

In recent years, November somehow found a way to give MORE to the world when Prostate Cancer Canada started introduced  Movember and encouraged men to grow mustaches resembling Captain Hook, Will Ferrel in Anchorman, and

Richard from ‘friends’ (among MANY more!) during the month of November. It’s a big fat step our country takes in order to change the attitudes towards men health, and try to find a cure for Prostate cancer (one hairy upper lip at a time! )

I have to tell you, I had no idea what Movember was until last year. Up till then, I was truly baffled and puzzled by all the random guys walking around my university campus, looking extra happy with themselves…but looking extra…’creepy’. I mean, they were REALLY going all out in growing the bushiest, messiest, darkest, longest… ‘fullest’ patches of hair you can imagine, and for someone who doesn’t understand why – the ‘movement’ is ‘perplexing’. After a couple of weeks of surpressing my questions, the curiousity of what was going on overpowered me and I took a chance and asked someone…’so is there a specific reason why  most guys have, you know, THAT’. Maybe it didn’t come out right? I was almost ready for the guy to look at me like I had insulted his cat and walk away, but he just smiled and said “It’s Movember.”

Simultaneous thought in my head: “Heh?”

I think he read my mind because he then elaborated…“we’re growing mustaches to raise money to donate towards cancer.”

Well there you go!

I then ‘googled’ this term (http://ca.movember.com/) and learned that at the 1^st of every November, clean shaven guys register themselves to be a ‘MO BRO’ and spend the rest of the month growing out the most expressive moustaches I have ever seen. As a woman and unfortunately, someone who cannot selflessly participate in this act (unless I get a stick on…which yes, I’ve seen women do), I feel there is no better way to remind me why men are so important and why it is we ultimately ‘love our guys’.  I feel all the participants that have these unique staches are extra happy, extra playful (since they walk around with that mean ‘I’m from the wild wild west’ look) and they definitely embrace the itchiness on their face to the fullest!

It reminds me that… yes, even though sometimes we just cannot stand the fact that men can be lazy, annoying, they tease us to know end and they can get under our skin enough to call all our friends and complain about them for hours…ultimately, without them we would barely have anything half as interesting to talk about! (I know so many of my readers are going to want to throw tomatoes at me for that comment – but we all know it’s true) No one would be there to ‘expertly’ explain what’s going on in the football game when ‘that guy’ makes five points. Going to the gym wouldn’t be half as much fun as it is (get it :p?), and there would be no one who has enough patience to hug you just like you need after a long day. Moreover, we’d lose the person who sneaked us the last bit of chocolate and let us go out when our moms just wouldn’t let us, who would melt when we made  puppy dog eyes and who selflessly gave us everything just so he could see us smile.

It reminds me that some of the most valuable and important people in my life are men…and ensuring that they’re healthy should definitely be a priority.

So in summary – I’m proud of all the guys that are taking part in giving me one more thing to look forward to the first day of November– You’re doing something really good and I hope that the men that are not partaking are inspired after reading this post!

LASTLY, one of my really good friends is ‘partaking in the movement’ and is a MoBro this month. Seeing how his stach is coming along on my birthday, 5 days before the month ends – will be a gift within itself! So donate to his cause and reward his ‘Mo-growing’ efforts — http://mobro.co/aliakberk (also, his  facebook status claims ‘pictures coming soon’, but I’VE SEEN NOTHING YET!) Let’s get cracking! :p

Yes, sometimes there would be semblance in the final images…but I can’t fib and say there weren’t times when even I’d be confused with my vision. Nevertheless, my resume still claims that I’m interested in the arts under the ‘interests and activities’ section.

To this day, there’s a canvas taller than me stored in my basement that I bought around five years ago for my “big project!” and I’ve continually used the excuse of ‘not having enough time’ to start deciding on what should be painted on it. Sometimes when I walk down there to grab a roll of paper towel, I pass by the clean white square…just staring at me. It’s accusing me of wasting its time and I can just HEAR the taunting!

Thousands of Yogis celebrated the longest day of the year by practicing Yoga in Times Square during an event marking the summer solstice on June 21, 2011 in New York City. Mind over Madness Yoga. …A dream.

Sending off so many positive vibes and finding peace and serenity in one of the busiest cities in the world; that’s something I would want to be a part of. Even though I’m not saying this in the cliche context – I hope every one of these people felt like they were part of something bigger than themselves.

I can already feel my limbs getting ready for a stretching  … not to mention my yoga mat that just sits quietly in a corner opposite my bed suddenly has the most prominent pink colour making it the focal point of my room.

Only good things can happen from here : )

"...and we keep going"

Between letters

Cramped in the traffic of words 

We take a breath at the punctuation.

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I’m home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around
I can’t decide if I’ll let you save my life or if I’ll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, ’cause I’m already falling
I’ll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I’m home

The world is coming down on me and I can’t find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can’t make you bleed if I’m alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, ’cause I’m already falling
I’ll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I’m home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I’ve never opened up
I’ve never truly loved ‘Till you put your arms around me
And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, ’cause I’m already falling
I’ll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I’m home

I am going to compare it to a soy, vegan, natural, full of organic fruits and extremely healthy piece of cake that you barely glance at when you’re at the bakery trying to find a tasty birthday cake. It’s rare that you’ll stop in your tracks and go “hmm…what are the advantages of purchasing this cake even though it doesn’t look all that interesting” – the ENTIRE Tuesdays with Morrie book is full of these disguised vegan cakes because little do you know that once you give the dialogue  the required attention and take a bite into it, not only will the cake taste better than expected but it will be ridiculously healthy for you.

Are you still following me or has this metaphor gone too far out of making-sense bounds?

Don’t be shy – ask questions in the little comments box below (also because getting e-mails on my blackberry from wordpress.com informing me that someone commented on my posts makes me feel like a celebrity for .2 seconds)

I will find it very difficult to believe that you have not heard about one of the most emotional stories ever told about the relationship between the author, Mitch Albom, and his professor. I’m ashamed to say that I was recommended this book many years ago, but I kept putting it off. I could tell just by the caption on the front cover that it will not only involve a serious emotional commitment but it will be heavy and full of life values: both conditions I was not willing to accept. Why is it that whenever some people feel the approach of “lessons before death”, they run?

No.

Why is it that whenever we feel someone coming to tell us that “death is real” we RUN. You know we can’t get that far, right?

I’m saying this to you…but really I’m preaching to myself  because I consciously know that subconsciously I was putting off the book that touched the hearts of millions, and was an instant classic in bookstores all around the world because it revolved around death; I was too chicken to face it. I remember reading somewhere that we run away from the topic of death and avoid discussing others passing away because somehow, we feel that NOT talking about it or not accepting that it’s a reality will buy us some time. That talking about it makes us one step closer to giving in to it.

Yeah right, like we have ANY control on that.

I mean, of course, don’t jump into a tank of hungry sharks and say “it’s not like I have any control in when I die anyways!”

The lesson of accepting and moving on with life is one that I need to re-teach to myself every day because it’s a lot easier said than done. To sit here right now and so casually talk about the focus of Tuesdays with Morrie and elaborate on the topic of death, is actually very hard for me; however, it’s something to get over.

Why?

Because once I was strong enough to stare Morrie’s death in the face and learn about the lessons he taught before he passed…guess what, I understand why the lives of millions were changed after reading this novel. It’s a true story that Mitch Albom wrote for his professor, Morrie. A professor that understood the true value of teaching and invested his time and love into all his students – and at the end of his life when he was diagnosed with ALS, he witnessed the impact of his actions when his students would come to visit and wait with him for his life to end.

His body was being eaten, inside out, and everyday was a waiting game until the moment when his disease would get to his lungs and succumb him to his final breath. It’s a scary thought, isn’t it? Knowing that you will no longer be the person that brushes your hair because you cannot lift your arms. That you will one day, very soon, you will need assistance with wiping yourself after going to the toilet. That the moment is approaching where feeling the wind breeze outside the four walls of your house is a mere idea, a memory, that will not be re-experienced until you are carried outside for the last time, to become one with nature.

Is this sad?

Well, Morrie experienced it. Everyday, he woke up wondering “is this the day when I die?” 

Consider, for a moment, how you would act if you were in his place?

Let me tell you what he did: he kept teaching, and his lectures still revolved around what he understood best: The value of life. 

A topic that is very easily taken for granted, and seldom reflected upon.

Throughout the novel I wondered how Morrie could stay so positive, when not only was his situation physically demanding, tragic, and heartbreaking but it was also unpredictable. Then I finally answered my own question: of course he was feeling pain and fear, but he got the opportunity that very few people get in their life: The chance to say goodbye. 

He got the chance to tell everyone that had touched his life how much he appreciated their presence. He knew that every moment with his wife was one that he must cherish, and he had enough time to reflect upon his experiences with her and tell her how much he loved her. He got the opportunity to sculpt the final memories his loved ones would have with him that would last them a lifetime.

He controlled how he would be remembered, and boy, did he ever take advantage of that.

As I was reading, page after page I learned another lesson about life. I told another person why they were precious to me. I reflected on my life, and recognized the magic in each moment. I created new purpose for my self and consciously sought ways to comprehend the significance of my life. I questioned myself, wanting to know more about what makes me happy and what makes me sad, and I tried to be innovative in leveraging the former to add value to my everyday.

I was continuously reminded about the minuscule things which I easily oversee, and gave a few moments to appreciate them.

I saw the faces of my loved ones in each word, and I took a moment to give thanks that they were in my life.

I was a happier person, because I recognized how fortunate I was that I had that specific moment to be alive, and that death was not taking me for it’s own before I could truly get over the flaws of my enemies, and absorb the perfections of the people who were close to me.

Overall, I learned how to detach myself from negative thoughts, emotions, and experiences. That is not to say that I should avoid their presence or pretend like something never happened. The novel taught me that being afraid of things is natural part of life and those feelings should be embraced. For example, let’s go back to my discomfort with the topic of death. Being scared that one day I will not be here or someone I love will physically disappear from my life, is okay. I should take the required time to accept this fact, let the fear seep into my consciousness and let it consume me, but only for a brief moment. When that moment has ended, I should say “Okay, so that is what the fear of death feels like. I see you, I acknowledge you, and now I’m going to move on with my life.”

I am not a master of this skill because it definitely take longer than Morrie recommended before the “moving on” process begins in my mind. If I’m stressed about my exam, I stress for days. If I’m upset about not having enough time to work out…I obsess about it. If someone does something to hurt me, make me upset, or just to spite me…I don’t forgive them right away.

But with that being said, I’m glad that I exposed myself to the lesson, because even though it does not come easily, I can see a change in my attitude.

I can now recognize that these are some of my flaws, I can now see that these are aspects of my life I need to work on, and so I will for as long as I need to.

All in all, like I always say: read the book!

There’s nothing that will add to the value of your life like being the student who learned the lessons Morrie taught on the many last Tuesdays of his life. 

While I was waiting for the grumpy’ish young girl behind the counter to very slowly and unhappily refill the cinnamon jar (so I could maximize the yum’ness of my green tea experience) I decided to browse through the nearby shelves. Not too far away, a pile of stray books caught my eye.

Why?

The book on the top was a sun-coloured yellow, smooth, hard-covered book titled “Up!” with a large red arrow staring me in the face. It was almost BEGGING me to  increase the duration of my distraction from stats. I hobbled over and picked up the book with a little glimmer in my eye and read its description: “A pragmatic look at the direction of life – 365 ways today is that best time to be alive.”

Umm …HELLO! Do you see any parallels between my blog and this book?

Are you connecting the dots as to why I felt that my soul mate was found?

I most definitely DID!

Koko opened the book before me, and this books nature became even more promising when the dedication was to a girl with Koko’s name! The little grade 7 version of my friend came alive for a few seconds when she widened her eyes and said “YOU HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK NAQIYA! It’s practically MEANT for us! It’s yellow AND it’s dedicated to me!”

You see, both of us fiend on positive energy and ever since who knows when, we have been giving each other advice on how to live happier lives and telling explaining to one another why we can overcome our problems by referencing so and so motivational book containing so and so detail. Therefore we just need to listen to so and so in order to overcome whatever it is that’s wrong. Are you following?

There was one instance when I was waiting outside the Moksha Yoga studio with my bright orange yoga mat in hand, waiting for Koko to get to the studio. Yes, I drove there while she decided to walk over. I used to be lazy… (I still am very lazy). When she reached me — she had her headphones in her ears and she was listening intently to what was playing. Obviously I assumed she really liked the song that was playing – but NO! She had a motivational psychology book in AUDIO format…no…MP3 format loaded on her iPod and she was pre-calming herself before our yoga class.

That my friends, is INSPIRATION at its best. So if you’ve been wondering why I try to transform my aura into a brighter colour by the second, you now have your answer.

As I was saying – the moment she condemned me to de-friendship unless I bought the book, I decided to take a SECOND break and read the first excerpt.

No, I will not tell you what it was about because while I’m writing this blog, I’m actually taking my 8th break away from stats so maybe I should cut my losses and get back to it before 6 pm tomorrow, when i’m sitting sweaty palmed in a humongous university lecture hall, trying to rack my brain and solve for P(x).

I am practical enough to know that my “life-is-okay-if-you-just-think-it’s-okay” psychology will not help me AT ALL in that moment. Instead my “damn you, why didn’t you just focus when you were supposed to”,  kick-myself-in-the-ass attitude will come out and sit on my positivity until it cries ‘mercy!’

The happy face inside my head will turn sad : (

I would suggest you do some digging and find out more about Up!’s content, but if you forget about it 5 minutes after scrolling away from this post – be sure to know I’ll keep you posted when I have more time!

ps -> I’m not buying the book because the copy is damaged and they don’t have another one … pooey.

At least now we know my soul mate is still out there - silver lining!

Perhaps I daydream too much?

Perhaps I’m too creative?

Perhaps I’m too much of a girl?

Perhaps a polka dot would never suit me and my skin definitely does not glow the way I imagine it to in my mind?

Perhaps I’m AWESOME because I stopped studying for .2 seconds to hear this song playing in Indigo. If it does not make you want to twirl around, dance, and be giddy – then there is a massive need for you to relax, eat some ice cream, take a little vacation and do a little self analysis to clear your mind of all the negativity. Just some friendly advice : )

Koko: (Turns to me with a horrendous winced expression) “Naqiya, I’m SO depressed”

Me: (Places hand on her arm) “Why what happened?”

Koko: “Just EVERYTHING. I’m just so sad. Nothing is RIGHT! I want to be happy, I do. But *sighh* I’m just so depressed…”

A few seconds later…

Koko: “I go to the store, and I buy shoes …and they’re too small …BUT I WEAR THEM ANYWAY! I know they’re too small, it hurts every time I step, never mind the scabs or the blisters…I wear them anyway”

Really Koko?

This my friends is a perfect example of what an excessive amount of school can do to you: Drive you crazy. 

I hope we’ve all learned a valuable life lesson here, spend a substantial amount of time thinking your decisions through before you commit yourself  to anything, otherwise, you better pre-supply yourself with a large box of band-aids!

With that being said, the shoe fairy probably has a profound amount of respect for Koko right now, that’s a good girl: Never letting a cute pair of ballet slippers go to waste! You did good my friend.

I will not go back to sipping on my Taro bubble tea with ooey gooey tapioca at the bottom – Oh the fantastic life of the suburban student heroine.